Real Life.

Okay, I'm going to be honest. I intentionally try to stay positive and post about happy things on this blog because those are the things I want to remember. But ALL OF US have weak moments. We all have days that are discouraging and seem like too much to handle! Right?!? 

  

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Abbigail was in a fairly good mood and things were going good. I even made cookies and did some dishes! I was feeling accomplished. We took some cookies over to Great Grandma Wright and played in the leaves at her house! We had fun. But after we got home, a switch went off in my head and the exhaustion hit. Seriously, my feet were hurting, my head was aching and all I wanted to do was get comfortable and go lay in bed. I was exhausted. {period}

But then I looked around and saw reality. Drew wasn't home from work yet, dinner was half way done, dirty dishes were COVERING my counters and my table, banana was stuck to my foot (thanks Abbi), Abbigail was opening every cabinet in the kitchen pulling out pots and pans, spaghetti noodles, hot chocolate mix, oatmeal or sandwich bags and if she wasn't doing that she was pulling out all of the trash on our garbage can and spreading it all over the floor. Just before I lost it, Drew walked through the door. 

He took Abbi for me and I finished dinner. Before we ate, I told him I was going to run to the gas station and get myself a Diet Coke. Finally, five whole minutes of silence by myself! It was nice. I got home, we fed Abbi and then put her to bed. (we had a late dinner, so it was past bedtime.) Then Drew and I sat down to eat. It felt nice to not worry about Abbi crying or yelling at me. It was just me and Drew, my feet were up, we were eating dinner and I had my Diet Coke. I was starting to feel better. Then, I went to take a sip of my drink, the lid came off and the full 32oz of Diet Coke spilled all over my pants and our carpet. 

I couldn't do anything but cry...

Drew quickly told me to go change, he cleaned up the spilled pop and then left to go get me a new one. {He's kinda the best}

This may sound trivial to a lot of you. You're thinking, "crying over spilled pop?" But I can tell you, it felt like SO much more than that. 

I can't even express how grateful I am that God cares about me and all of his children. Even through the hardest and most exhausting of days, He is still there and He still cares. I am not alone; I always have help. Being reminded of this gives me peace, hope and helps me feel refreshed. Because I can pray to Heavenly Father for help and read scriptures and other inspiring material I feel like I can do it. 

I truly am grateful to be a mother. It is really hard most days, but at the same time it is even more rewarding. I love watching Abbigail grow. I love hearing her talk, learn new words, discover new things. I just love her. Being a mother is what I have always dreamed of being. Even on the worst days, I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. 

"Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones."

               -Jeffrey R. Holland

Our Sleep Story.

When Abbigail was one month old, I wrote this post. Little did I know, we would have a long 9 months ahead of us before she would actually sleep through the night. 

I know a lot of parents have had it and still have it a lot harder than we did when it comes to babies sleep habits. My blogging friend Jess asked me (and other mommy bloggers) to share our sleep story. {Side note: Jess has a little girl who was born a few months after Abbi. They named her Abigail Ann! Same name, spelled different. Awesome right? I think they're destined to be best friends!} So here it is: 

Let me also, preface by saying every baby is different! There is no right way to sleep train your baby. There are many different ways to do so and it's all about finding out what works for you and your baby.  I mean no offense to anyone. If I mention a sleep training method that you used didn't work for us, please don't take it personally. I'm just here to share our story and what worked for us!

Like most newborns do, Abbigail slept A TON when she was first born! It was awesome! Morning and night, that girl was always sleeping! After about a month, Abbi decided she liked sleeping during the day a lot better than sleeping at night. I found a blog post that basically explained Baby Wise. The author said all three of her babies slept 8 hours straight at 8 weeks old and 12-13 hours straight at 12 weeks old! I thought, THAT'S IT! This was going to change our sleep habits! We were going to get Abbi to sleep through the night by using this magical sleep schedule! It was hard! I felt more exhausted from trying to keep her awake during the day, having her scream all day because she wanted to sleep than waking up during the night. AND it wasn't working for us! Abbigail was mad and grumpy during the day because we were keeping her awake and she was still waking up in the middle of the night. Basically, she wasn't getting the sleep she needed!

Something had to change. But I didn't know what to change or where to start! We had some very rare but awesome nights where she would sleep 6 or 7 hours straight and it was awesome! We felt so rested and happy, then the next night she went right back to waking up every few hours. I was at a loss.

As she got older, she slowly started sleeping for longer stretches and starting at about 5 months she would only wake up once. I know, a lot of other mom's are thinking "only waking up once? That would be a dream for us" and it may be. However, for us it was still exhausting. Every morning I would wake up groggy, tired and irritated. I was irritated at my sweet, innocent baby girl because she woke me up during the night. Selfish right? Then I would feel guilty for feeling that way. What was my sleep deprivation doing to me?! {as you can see, my emotions were going crazy!}

My feelings exactly. 

We finally figured out that if we gave her a bottle, she would go right back to sleep. Then it didn't feel so bad! We would put her to bed around 10pm, wake up at 3am, give her a bottle, fall back asleep and wake up for good at about 7am. Not bad huh? I still felt tired, but I think I was a little less crazy. I was getting more sleep!

Now we were creeping up on 9 months old and she still wasn't "sleeping through the night." Over and Over people would tell us, "you just need to let her cry herself to sleep," "She will never learn if you always go comfort her," "she needs to learn how to put herself to sleep." I didn't like it. I didn't like hearing my precious baby scream for over an hour and realize she still wasn't falling asleep. I felt like I was neglecting her. I'm her mom! I'm supposed to comfort her and instead I was just letting her scream. This didn't feel right to me. It wasn't working either.

I took Abbigail to her 9 month appointment. I finally brought up my struggle with her pediatrician. He told me nutritionally, she didn't need a bottle in the middle of the night. Like you and I, if she feels hungry during the night, she can teach herself to fall back asleep, then eat in the morning. He also said part of her waking up once at night was out of habit. She figured out that if she cries at 3am, we will wake up, hold/cuddle her, and give her a bottle! What could be better? This gave me comfort, but I still didn't know which sleep training method to use.

I turned to the internet. (After 4 years of studying child development, you'd think I would know this stuff off the top of my head?! Wrong! I'm clueless!) I read about "no tears" methods and "cry it out" methods. I felt like the no tears methods were telling me to do things I was already doing, and that was obviously wasn't working. Then I came across the Ferber method. It seemed reasonable and people had a ton of success stories, so I decided to try it.

We would put Abbigail down for the night and let her cry for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes we would go in, tell her we love her & that is was time for sleep, put her pacifier in, and leave. Then, we would let her cry for 10 minutes and repeat. Basically, we would go up in increments of 5 before we would go in and comfort her. We would also use this for her naps during the day. We never had to go more than 15 minutes without her falling asleep. I finally felt like we (the parents) were finally in control. It took 3 days for her to totally figure it out and sleep all night with ZERO interruptions. 3 DAYS PEOPLE!!!!

via

She hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since we used this method and she is usually pretty good about falling asleep quickly when we put her in her crib, whether it be for nap time or bed time. It is divine! {Mental note: start earlier with the next baby!}

And that's our story! 10,000 brownie points to everyone who actually made it through this whole post. Hopefully hearing our success story will give you some hope! For all you moms struggling with babies who won't sleep, know it does get better! Eventually. Keep researching and find out what works best for you and your sweet baby!

What methods have you other moms used? 

How did you get your baby to sleep all night?

25 before 25.

Sometimes being a "Stay at home Mom" is hard for me. Don't get me wrong, I love spending my days with Abbigail. I love watching her grow and discover new things! It makes my heart very happy! But sometimes (more often lately) I don't feel very accomplished. I feel like all I do is stay home with Abbi, clean house (sometimes), cook meals and run errands. My days have been very repetitive and discouraging. Am I the only one that feels like this?!?

The other day, I read my good friend Kelsey's post about her 25 things she wants to do before she turns 25. I LOVED it! Seriously, I found it so inspirational! I've decided to change my attitude! Being a stay at home mom is hard work! I should feel happy and proud of what I'm doing. I should feel grateful for the opportunity I have to stay at home and raise my sweet baby girl. I am doing important work! This is where God wants me to be - in the home.

"You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging.Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”
- Jeffrey R. Holland

If I want my attitude to change, I have to do something about it. I need to "press forward" with a "perfect brightness of hope." I feel like having a bucket list will help me feel more accomplished about what I am doing and will help me appreciate my job as a stay at home mom more fully. So here it is...
25 things I want to accomplish before I turn 25:

1. Read the Book of Mormon (again)

2. Teach someone a new skill. 

3. Have another baby (VBAC)

4. Learn how to take pictures in Manual mode and edit my pictures using Photoshop. 

5. Go on a weekend getaway with Drew!

6. Complete the "insanity" challenge.

7. Buy a piece of furniture from DI or Goodwill, refinish it, and put it in my home. 

8. Take Abbigail to Disneyland.

9. Plant and harvest a garden. 

10.  Learn 10 new songs on the piano.

11. Go to a concert (with Drew)

12. Visit 10 different temples.

13. Family trip to Jackson Hole.

14.  Take Abbi to a local fair/carnival.

15. Pay for the person behind me in a fast food drive thru.

16. Be more social! Make 30 new friends! 

17. Put my degree in Child Development to use (somehow). 

18. Keep my brain active by making an effort to read more books.

19. Learn to sew, then create something. 

20. Run a half marathon. (13.1 miles)

21. Travel to 5 states I haven't been to before. 

22. Learn how to ski.

23. Go to New York with Drew and see a show on Broadway! 

24. Attend the Temple with Drew twice a month. 

25. Start and Organize my food storage. 

(Thanks to Kelsey for the challenge to make this list)

Do you guys have any goals and ambitions? 

How are you working towards them? 

What a wonderful thing...

"What a wonderful thing you have done as mothers. You have given birth and nurtured children. You have entered into a partnership with our Father in Heaven to give mortal experience to His sons and daughters. They are His children and they are your children, flesh of your flesh, for whom He will hold you responsible."

- President Gordon B. Hinckley 

Blessed.

My sweet Abbigail is getting so big! {I mean she turns one THIS month!} Often times throughout my week, I find myself missing the newborn baby stage. I miss swaddling her and rocking her to sleep. I miss holding her tight as she eats. I miss the times she was learning how to smile, and laugh, and roll, and crawl. There are so many things I miss. Then I look over at her, she looks at me and smiles as she says "mama" and my heart melts. Why do I do that? Why do I focus on the past and focus on how much I miss those precious milestones that have already happened? Why can't I focus more on the milestones that will happen? Why can't I live in the present and look forward to our future instead of focusing on our past? 

Abbi is turning one this month! She is walking around like a champ, learning how to throw her own diaper away (which she has a weird obsession with, btw), opening up cabinets, learning new words, eating regular food, using sippy cups, reading books to herself, talking to me (all day long), and I love every second of it! 

I love that she can blow me kisses, I love that she can say (sign) please when she wants something from me, I love that she can sleep through the night and wake up happy, I love that she is ticklish, I just love everything about her. 

Sometimes I just look at her and feel so overwhelmed! Sometimes I can't believe she is really mine. This is my life! God has entrusted me to take care of this sweet, smart, independent, sassy little girl. I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to do just that. 

Smiles, Snot and a lot of Sass.

All this teething is making Abbi's nose run like a river, but she is still as happy and sassy as ever! And for those moments where she isn't happy (understandable right? 4 teeth!), Tylenol has become our best friend! I love that she still giggles and laughs, crawls and climbs, eats food and toys and throws food and toys. This mama is grateful that Abbi handles teething so well! It makes my life a lot easier too! 

Play-date!

Abbigail officially had her first play-date! My good friend Koryn and I had our cute baby girls 2 weeks apart. We were excited to get them together and just as I had hoped, they are so cute together! Abbi and Brinley love each other. Brinley was really nice to share her toys with Abbi. They played together, followed each other {everywhere} and they both loved playing in the mirror! They were pretty much inseparable!

It really is too bad Brinley is moving away... :( Her Dad got accepted to Law school. We're really excited for their family, but sad we can't have fun play-dates more often!   

My Lovely Laundry Helper..

I have the best laundry helper. We have a super great system worked out. I wash and dry the clothes. I put them in a basket to be folded. She takes the clothes out of the basket and puts them on the floor. I take the clothes from the floor, fold them and put them in the appropriate piles. She gets distracted, crawls over to the newly folded clothes and knocks the pile over. It's a bunch of fun! Laundry may take us a little longer than normal, but we have way more fun! 

But seriously moms, how do you get any housework done when your baby is mobile?

It's a Girl!

..........








Ok, seriously folks. Can you believe it has been one year since I posted this. It has been one full year! One year since we found out that cute little gummy bear in my belly was a beautiful, spunky little girl. It seriously blows my mind. Now that cute girl that grew so big in my belly, is over 7 months old, crawling, pulling herself to a stand, and babbling. I swear she is about to say "mama", I can feel it in my bones. {she's so close!} People tell you that they "grow up so fast", but they're not kidding. Every time I blink, she passes another milestone. Seriously time, SLOW DOWN! I love my cute girl. I love my cute family. Life may be CRAZY busy right now with finals and graduation right around the corner, but I am going to try and relax and enjoy my perfect family!

Oh and, General Conference is this weekend! {My favorite time of the year!}

On our sick days...

The past couple days Abbigail has had a fever. We've been to the doctor, and he seems to think it is just a viral infection, so we can't really do anything but use Tylenol and cuddle. {because cuddling fixes everything} Even with a fever, our girl has quite the personality. I have the best. job. ever. I just love being her Mom!

P.S. I had the awesome opportunity to guest post on Love, The Skinny's. Check it out! Deidre is awesome!

Thoughts on being a Mother.

I've heard a lot of opinions about when to get married, how long you should wait to have children, how many children to have, how far apart to have your children, etc. I probably can't appropriately express how passionate I am about this subject. This is such a personal issue and for each couple, the answer is different. I want to express to you today how important motherhood is to me.

I have wanted to be a mother since I knew what a baby was. I was ecstatic the day I got the call for my first babysitting job. Since then I have known; I want to be a mother. People ask what I want to be when I grow up, my answer was and still is, a mother. Now that I have a daughter, my passion for motherhood grows stronger and stronger each day.

All of the sleepless nights, being pooped on, screamed at and moments of having no idea what to do all disappear when my baby girl smiles, rolls over for the first time, finally eats her whole bowl of rice cereal, plays with her toys, etc.

Even with all those less than ideal times, I can tell you that my passion and desire to be a mother has not suffered one bit. People ask how many kids do you want? I answer 12. Part of me may be kidding, but I will take 1,2,3,4, or 10 more children. I want to be a mother to how ever many children God will entrust me with. Some may call me crazy for wanting a big family, and that is just fine with me. I will be a crazy woman with 12 kids and a husband standing behind me. We will be an army!